Saturday, March 13, 2010

This is a personal (and long) entry.

Hello everyone. :)

Lately, I've been missing from my online sites (twitter, flickr, blog) and I don't think it's fair to just write off this disappearance with a simple "I'm busy."

For the last few months, my close friends and family would know that I've been an all sort of a emotional wreck. My passion for sculpting and miniatures had me jump in with both feet right after I graduated, and pursue the lofty dream of being a full-time miniaturist. However, reality soon turned around to bite me. I became trapped between rollercoaster emotions of being delirious that I'm living the dream, which would quickly spiral into a state of depression when faced with unpaid university loans and financial insecurity. Needless to say that I wasn't very happy these few months.

This made me think hard about what was lying down the road for me. I had to admit I was by no means, financially secured to head down the entrepreneurial road. There is a chinese metaphor, 'shou ting kou ting', which literally means when the hands stop, the feeding stops too. This is most apt to describe AiClay, and any other crafting business around. (hello etsy friends! :)) I'm not selling imported clothes, or jewelry supplies etc where I had a ready supplier to replenish stocks. I had to physically get down to planning, sculpting, baking everytime I wanted to add an additional item in my store. And of course, there comes the sometimes-long wait for the sale, and for the money to arrive.

The constant worrying for my future was eating away at my enthusiasm for AiClay as I forced myself to brainstorm for more designs, sculpt more, work harder at promoting the store. Which led me to a realisation. That if I wasn't happy working at AiClay, then all of this is basically pointless. If sculpting and miniatures were starting to feel like work instead of a release for me, then there is something wrong, somewhere.

(Yes, I know this is wayyy too long, but I'm getting to the point now.)

And so, I found a job. It would allow me to see the real world beyond my sculpting table and bedroom, and see and talk to some real humans. (Replying emails and Etsy forums aren't exactly enough.)

Most importantly, it would provide a daily income for me to repay my university loan.

Don't get me wrong, I am not giving up AiClay, and I still have great plans for it although they are currently shelved away. (till I have more money in the bank, to put it bluntly.) I would still be blogging, sculpting, sharing my favourites via Look! etc, just on a smaller scale.

So basically, what it really means for my dear readers, is that you would be seeing less (not none!) of me in the blog, on flickr/twitter/facebook etc. I would still try to write in here at least once a week though. With a 9-to-6 working schedule now, I can no longer sculpt as often. But, I am still accepting commissions, but do understand if the waiting period is longer. :)

Right, feels good to get this off my chest. :)

I shall end with two pictures I have forgotten to post, of my miniature cake stand and some miniature packaging. 


  1. Sweet heart, (come here, let me give you hugs)

    The best part about being young, is working for your money, you learn so much that way. :)

    Work hard, and still create, all this is still here for you, always. :)

    You will be happier paying your bils off and leaving this for fun.

    You are a very talented artist, enjoy this, in your off time. :)

    Much, much love, my dear one. :)

  2. totally feel you!!!!!!!!JIAYOU JOCEEE (:

  3. Big Hug...wishing you tons and tons of good luck with your new job...and I hope you find enjoyment in it...and don't forget us, and do post a little something on the blog just to let us know you are OK on the other side of the world :D

  4. Congratulations on a new job. You have found the courage to do what you need to do, so hopefully it gets easier from here. And as hard as it is, try to enjoy the journey to finding a happy balance. Best of luck to you.

  5. Hi Jocelyn,
    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts...I know I appreciate your honesty. Congratulations on your new job - I completely understand your thought process and the need to create more income!! Good luck with your newly created path...I look forward to your future posts and updates...and of course, your wonderful creations when you have time to make them!
    Warmest regards and best wishes to you!! Jacqueline

  6. Jocelyn, I'm really not surprised and can fully understand because I'm in the same situation myself. You can always treat your business like your hobby, so all is not lost. Do not lose heart... I look forward to your creations now and then. ^_^

  7. I understand how you feel!! And I hope you will be happy with your new job, save your miniatures for times when you feel for it! You are so talented, your miniatures will always be there for you!


  8. Hi Jocylen,

    I understand how you feel!!! I've got uni loans to pay off as well, and I get really stressed taking time off from work to do things that I like, because it is the loan does have interest on it.

    So I went through the same struggle that you did, but don't give up! As long as the passion for crafting is there, I'm sure you'll be able to return to it when the loans are finally paid off!

    I'm planning to go back to my passion once I've the loans paid off and some savings in the bank too!

    So jiayou jiayou! Ppl in the same boat muz support each other..haha..^_^

    Wei Man

  9. I'm old! But with soon two children in college and like you, having to create each little piece, photograph it, list it, etc. and wait for a sale, I may have to abandon my part-time job and go to work full time as well if I can find anything in this economy that I am qualified for. I know exactly how you feel except I am not young! We have to do what we have to do for our families. No worries--we will be here when you can check in! I have had to leave off blogging for a few months at a time when life issues have intervened!


  10. wow everyone. I never expected so many heartfelt replies! Thank youu everyone for writing here, and all of your words have given me strength.

    Thank you. :)

  11. hey there,

    I am usually a fashion person, working in the fashion industry but your blog amazes me.. everything looks so real, keeping an eye on you from now on....


  12. I understand exactly how you feel. Hang in there though. You will get there sometimes.